I definitely think you learn more about friendship as you get older.
You learn more about life as you get older.
With every passing day, every passing hour, every passing minute we’re learning more and more about the world and how to find our place within it.
Since I hit my late twenties (boo, hiss, sob into a tub of ice-cream), I feel like things have all of a sudden *clicked” in my life.
Sure, I still struggle to adult most days like everybody else (especially when hungover) but I feel like I know stuff now. Check me out, right?
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things that I still don’t know (and maybe never will know). However, I’m a firm believer that with age comes wisdom.
Let’s take friendship for example. I thought I knew everything that there was to know about friendship throughout my teens and early twenties.
I thought I knew how to act, and how not to act, in certain situations with certain people. I thought I knew who I could trust and who I couldn’t. But nah mate, I was totally wrong.
I’m only just starting to figure all this friendship stuff out… And I’m 27.
Want specifics of what I’ve learned recently? Well, I’LL GIVE YOU SPECIFICS. Here are things I’ve learned about friendship in my twenties.
Sometimes friends can surprise you in the best way, like when they show up at your house at 10pm because you called them to say how upset you were feeling about your recent breakup.
Or when you point out a top that you L-O-V-E when you’re out shopping together, only to find out that your pal has bought it for you as a birthday present.
Then there are the bad surprises when it comes to friendship. You know, those kinds of surprises that make you feel sick to your stomach because someone who you once classed as a close friend has done or said something unimaginable and you can never forgive them for it.
Yeah, those surprises suck. And because you don’t expect them, they can be extremely difficult to deal with.
But, with every dark night, comes the dawn. And people show their true colours sooner or later, which actually does you a massive favour.
Why? Well, it helps you to work out who you should and shouldn’t focus your time on.
It’s great when you think you’ve found your closest gal pals for life and you’re adamant that you don’t need anyone else, but then an absolute belter comes into your life out of the blue.
This always seem to be the lass you get on extremely well with at work or spend hours with on the coach journey back from Penzance or a friend of a friend who you never expected to bond with.
It’s someone who meant nothing to you not too long ago, only to mean everything to you a few months later.
Oh, how I love these kinds of friends. Those friends that you just immediately gel with. And, let’s face it, you can never have too many – right?
Then you’ve got the kinds of friendships who you did treasure because you’ve known these peeps since high school, but then they decide to participate in their very own, very sucky, magic trick.
It’s called the “disappearing act without a trace.” Do you guys know it?
I’ve had this happen to me a couple of times, actually very recently, and MY GOD does it hurt. Essentially it’s those friends who have moved on with their lives and got new friends, but they’ve only gone and forgot to tell you.
Instead, they just don’t bother texting you back. EVER.
You might even do what I did and let them know how upset you are that you’ve drifted, that you’ll do whatever it takes to get your friendship back on track and that you’re there for them and you still love them… Only to never hear back from them which, let’s face it, is just plain RUDE.
Especially when you’re supposed to mean something to them or you once meant a lot to each other.
It happens and it’s rubbish, but you soon realise that you’re better off without these flaky friends in your life. Ultimately, they’re simply not worth crying any more tears over.
Another important friendship lesson you’ll learn in your twenties is that life can be very unpredictable at times.
For instance, you can go for months without seeing one of your bezzies merely because one of you is in a new relationship or travelling or has family troubles (delete as applicable).
After all, it can be difficult to find spare time for yourself when you’re adulting and you’ve got a full and hectic schedule, let alone for anybody else!
You both don’t mean for it to happen but it does, and you have to forgive each other for it. As long as you’re both checking in with each other every now and again and making the maximum amount of effort that you possibly can given the circumstances, then that’s all that you can do really.
True friends will understand.
The truth is: proper pals won’t ever leave your side, no matter what happens. If they truly care about you, then there’ll be NO getting rid of them (even if you try super hard!)
Also, you might not see them for months on end because life has gotten in the way. However, when you do see them, it’ll be like no time has passed.
And that’s how you know that you’re gal pals for life.
No matter how old you get, you always need your friends by your side.
One of you might temporarily struggle to see the other when distracted by other life issues; but, ultimately, you should always make your friendships a priority.
Men can come and go, but always remember that friends are the family members that you choose for yourself.
Never take them for granted and make sure that you’re always there for them, and they will be there for you too.
(Friends theme tune, anyone?)
WHAT I’M WEARING:
Pink Converse – Primark (similar here)
White Bag – Primark (similar here)
Tassel Earrings – River Island (similar here)
All that being said, I just have to shoutout to some of my favourite girls in the world who have always been there for me, no matter what. All through school, all through university and throughout my career thus far… I just want to thank you Amy, Vanessa, Juliet, Tasha, Hannah, Berry and my sister Nicola for sticking with me through the good times and the bad. Thanks for all your unconditional love and support throughout the years. Whether you like it or not, you gals are stuck with me for life 😀 <3